


The Jersey Slip

by SBG



Series: Little Problem [8]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Timestamp, wee!Danny - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SBG/pseuds/SBG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a quick stop to pick up essentials for the care and feeding of a toddler. What could go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jersey Slip

**Author's Note:**

> For the few, the proud, the wee!Danny fans... :)

Steve was convinced his partner was out to kill him. He thought that on many days, actually, but usually in a fond, look-at-that-ass-of-his way, but today was a different story. He gave a head shake, not wanting to think about his Danny’s butt while dealing with _this_ Danny. This sneaky, maniacal, adorable, endearing tot who stared at him now with a tiny, squared-off, stubborn jaw and ice for eyes.

“No,” Danny said, crossing his fat little arms.

“Yes,” Steve said, crossing his arms right back, thinking how ridiculous he was being, facing off against a toddler. Alarmingly, he thought his chances were less than optimal of winning this battle.

“Why?”

Horrified that the first thing that popped into his mind was “because I said so”, Steve paused for a moment. Honestly, part of him just thought it was cute. He glanced at passers-by.

“It’s Hawai’i. I know that doesn’t mean much to you right now, but people wear these here.” Steve unfolded his arms to hold up the miniature aloha shirt, navy blue and festooned with a print of big white plumeria. So maybe he had an ulterior motive in this particular clothing option. It had been a long day and it had also barely started. He deserved the small payoff of getting a shot of Danny in a bright island-style shirt to use later, if … _when_ Danny got back to normal. “This is not up for debate, mister.”

“Buttons.” Danny stomped his foot. “No.”

Okay. That was a valid argument when he thought about it from the perspective of a two maybe closer to three-year-old kid. Steve had countless examples that this version of his partner was as pigheaded as the one he missed so much, and would insist on dressing himself. Danny could scale a palm tree, but his fingers were chubby; buttons required dexterity. He’d have to rely on the pictures he knew Kono had already taken of little Danny’s bare bottom for blackmail material. He knew when he was beat, put the aloha shirt back onto the rack and noticed the stares from other shoppers hadn’t abated at all. 

Standing in the middle of a store with a mostly-naked boy was not how he’d anticipated spending the day. He cursed Onakea for the millionth time and wished his would work half as well as the shaman’s had. The last thing he needed, though, was for someone to think he was abusing the boy, and with what they probably looked like – Danny barely clothed and covered in cuts and scrapes from his earlier exploits, himself barely holding it together – he couldn’t fault anyone who might draw that conclusion. Hell, it was either abuse or just plain absurdity. 

“How about something like this?” Steve asked, fishing out a royal blue T-shirt and waving it in front of Danny for approval. Anything to get him covered up at this point. “Better?”

Luckily, Danny’s eyes brightened, he nodded and held out his hand.

As with just about everything Danny wanted, Steve gave in easily. He slipped the shirt off the hangar and removed the tags to be scanned when they checked out. He figured the risk of being thought a shoplifter was lesser than what might happen if he left Danny wearing only a T-shirt wrapped around his bit and bobs. He froze. It occurred to him all of a sudden that he wasn’t sure if the boy needed diapers or underwear. He let that horrifying thought swirl in his head for a moment before he shook it out. One problem at a time. Nakedness first, the worse problem later. He actually felt a twinge of anxiety low in his gut thinking about that. He got so distracted by the diaper dilemma that when he looked back at Danny, the boy had become all twisted up trying to get his arms and head through their respective holes. 

He bit back a laugh. He’d learned that laughter only made Danny crankier and more determined to get away from him. Steve squatted next to Danny and did his best to guide his partner’s arms without wrenching them, tug the shirt over that precious blond head. It was only after he got the shirt on fully that he realized that Superman’s S was emblazoned on the front of the tee. Okay, he could work with this. He grinned at Danny, almost mentioned how S was the first letter of his name to the little fellow, but reconsidered instantly. He didn’t think Danny would appreciate the commentary. Danny might even try to pull the T-shirt off again, given his continued dislike for him. 

Steve frowned, considering again how his partner wanted nothing more than to get away from him. He had to concentrate on the bigger picture, not let his own insecurities take over here. 

“Lookin’ good, big guy,” Steve said. “Let’s get you some shorts to go with that, what do you say?”

“Okay!” Danny said, sounding almost happy.

Quickly sifting through the rack, Steve picked another shirt out. Black one with the Batman logo this time, might as well go with a superhero theme. He didn’t know if he should get more than a couple of wardrobe changes, hoped like hell all he would need were two. He was going to err on the side of optimism. He had to, or he was never going to survive this. He pulled out two pair of boardies, red and yellow, then scooped Danny up and carried him to the shoes. Danny picked out the yellow slippahs, which actually coordinated with both outfits. 

“You always have had a flair for style.” Steve smiled to himself, thinking that wasn’t strictly true. Danny’s style was as unique as he was. “Now we have to get a few other things, then we’re out of here.”

“Go home then?” Danny asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Steve said, ignoring the heartache of knowing the home Danny meant was not the home he was going to get. It was truth and lie at once. “We’ll go home.”

That seemed to motivate Danny, at least, who was on his best behavior while Steve went through every aisle designated for babies and small children. It was all a tad overwhelming. He wished he could have come up with a counterargument to Kono when they’d all saddled him with Danny duty. He was sure any of the others would have more of an idea what they were doing, even Chin. He had no clue, so he went with his gut. Based on the trouble Danny had already gotten himself in, Steve started collecting every safety device and monitor from the shelves. He spotted a basket stack at the end of the aisle and grabbed one, shoving everything he could into it. 

After filling it, he and Danny wandered into the diaper aisle. Steve halted and looked down the expanse of colorful plastic-wrapped packages. He’d had no idea there were so many items to choose from, where to start. Size, he thought, moving quickly past the newborn stuff toward increasingly complicated selections. Danny had been wearing a T-shirt most of the day, hadn’t had an accident outside of peeing on Steve’s boot (deliberate), and seemed like he was pretty advanced overall. He smiled at that. That was his Danny – the epitome of appearances being deceiving. Danny looked innocuous enough, but so totally wasn’t, whether he was two or thirty-five. Maybe he could avoid the diapers altogether. He turned to consult with the expert.

And found the expert had vanished. 

Steve’s heart leapt to his throat even as he berated himself for falling for this shit yet again. He could kick himself. When all was said and done, with Danny back to himself, he was going to get a new tattoo – the word sucker, straight across his forehead. He’d been a sucker for Danny since day one, after all. It would be fitting. 

“Danny,” Steve said. “Danny!”

He’d studied the rough map at the store’s entrance when they’d arrived, wanting to get to his objective and out as fast as possible to avoid losing Danny again. Steve would have succeeded if he hadn’t become overwhelmed by the diapers, he was sure of that. He gave the Huggies a dirty look as he raced for the end of the aisle and hoped he picked the right direction. It was the one they were standing closest to, but that didn’t mean Danny would have chosen. He thought of all the nooks and crannies a kid like Danny could hide in in a store this size, absolutely did not think of all of the people who could have snatched him up and spirited him away already. He had the store layout in his head, was prepared to search every square inch for his once-again wayward pain-in-the-ass partner.

“Sir?” a timid voice came from behind him.

Steve spun around, found a slight girl wearing a red top and khakis. Holding onto her hand and looking sweet as can be was Danny. 

“I believe you lost something,” the girl said.

“I did,” Steve said in a rush. He reached and gathered Danny to his side, expecting a fight and getting only wide blue eyes. He wondered if this time it hadn’t been an intentional escape attempt. That only made it worse. He glanced at the girl’s name tag. “Thank you, Emily.”

“You’re welcome.” Emily paused. “You might want to keep a better eye on your son. I saw him stop back at the sippy cups.”

Shit. What was _wrong_ with him? Something had to be. Even knowing the enemy the way he was starting to, he still got careless.

“He’s not my son, actually.”

Instantly, Emily’s posture stiffened and she started to look suspicious. She shifted nervously between both feet and her attention darted around as if looking for back-up. Oh. 

“Oh, no, no. I’m Five-0,” Steve said, realizing too late how it sounded and what they looked like. He jutted his badged hip forward, motioned to it with the hand still holding the shopping basket. “This little guy was left at our offices, I’m just caring for him for the day until we can get his family here.”

“Oh, poor guy.” 

He honestly couldn’t discern if she meant him or Danny, 

Emily relaxed a bit. She chewed on her lap. “You’re not a parent, are you?”

Steve shook his head.

“I hope you don’t mind some advice. I have two little ones at home.”

She looked twelve. Steve tried not to gawp as he said, “No, please, I’d be grateful.”

“You might want to get a harness for that one,” Emily said with a smile. “They’re next to the gates. If he’s going home with you, you might want one of those too. And I think pull-ups would be a good place to start if you don’t know if he’s been potty-trained.”

“Harness. Like a horse?”

“More like a dog.” Emily laughed, presumably at his horrified face. “It’s a lot more humane than you’re thinking. Most harnesses double as a backpack and I’ll bet …”

“Danny,” Danny said when Emily looked at him. He stuck out his chest, such a miniaturized version of Danny’s puff and ruffle maneuver that Steve wanted to either cry or race back and beat the tar out of Onakea. 

“I’ll bet Danny here would love a backpack. It’s fun for him and security for you.”

“I’ll keep all of that in mind, thank you.”

Steve was sure it was all intended to be helpful, but he still felt a bit lost. He dismissed the gate outright. Danny had scaled a palm tree; a three foot gate would be literal child’s play. He smiled at Emily and led Danny back into the depths of the diaper aisle. With Emily’s recommendation in mind, he selected a gigantic (the only size, apparently) pack of pull-ups and then did return to the safety and security section of the kids’ department. He quickly found a little backpack that looked like a monkey.

“This one looks perfect for you,” Steve said to Danny, who was suspiciously cooperative and silent. “Do you like it?”

“I like monkeys,” Danny said. He smiled, one of the few genuine, happy moments Steve could recall seeing from the boy while anywhere near him. 

“Probably because you are part one.” Steve smiled and started pulling the backpack from its packaging to put it on Danny right away. He wasn’t going to take any more chances. “Let’s see how it looks on you, Superman.”

It was easy enough to get Danny strapped in, and he looped the leash around his own wrist a few times. The worst part was over. All he had to do was check out, then he’d have one more volatile situation under his belt. Steve had to keep smiling at the way Danny beamed at everyone they passed as they walked toward the bank of checkout stands. Cock of the block, no matter what age, Steve thought. 

With Danny in in tow, Steve made quick work of loading the conveyor belt with all of his essential purchases. He hoped he had all of it covered; he was not up to another outing today. In fact, he had decided halfway up the stairs to the clock tower earlier that if he couldn’t get anyone else on the team to step up, the best plan was going to be hunkering down at home until this all passed. A controlled environment, that was what Danny needed.

Hell, it was what he needed. 

The tally of the items went up and up. He cringed, then told himself it was for a good cause. Keeping Danny safe was worth any cost, really. He handed over the tag for the shirt Danny was wearing, then realized he’d left the tags on the backpack. Of course, when he turned to gather those as well was when he noticed the tension had gone out of the leash and there on the floor was a monkey, sans Danny.

“Jesus, he really can do the Jersey slip,” Steve muttered under his breath. 

“Sir?”

“I … the boy.” Steve held up his hand, then his pointed to his badge. “I need to … I’ll be back. I have to … I just gotta go get a little thing taken care of.”

“Sir, you can’t…”

He didn’t hear the rest of whatever the cashier said. His ears were filled with static. Danny had been on his best behavior. It had all been a trap, and Steve had fallen for it again. Danny couldn’t do buttons, but somehow managed to wriggle his way out of safety locks. How the fuck did this keep happening? This time, he had a sick feeling in his gut – they were so close to the exit. Surely, someone would have seen a small boy wandering out by himself and stopped him. Steve visually canvassed the checkout lanes and catalogued everyone he passed while he ran full speed for the door, didn’t spot Danny anywhere.

Lunging out onto the sidewalk, he immediately saw Danny scampering out into the busy parking lot. Steve was not sure Danny saw the SUV bearing down on him, or that the driver was in the middle of texting something. He was positive the driver had no idea he was about to commit vehicular manslaughter.

“Danny!” he shouted and dashed forward, scooping up the boy and holding him close. 

His momentum carried both of them out of the way of the approaching vehicle. Steve stumbled a few steps, knew he was going to hit the pavement. He tucked Danny close and rolled as best he could, ended up on his back with the boy on top of him. 

“Are you okay? God, Danny,” Steve said, breathless and good god, he had no idea how people did this every day. 

His heart couldn’t take it. His heart could barely take the thought of losing his Danny, but this one, without getting his back … no. Steve patted Danny down, surprised that there was no fight in the boy who’d been combative with him nearly every step of the way. Danny looked like he was about two point five seconds away from a meltdown.

“You’re okay. You’re okay, baby, it’s all right now.”

“Jus’ wanna go home,” Danny said, voice trembling. 

“I’ll get you there, Danny, I promise,” Steve whispered. “You just gotta stick with me.”

Danny’s lip quivered and he buried his face against Steve’s neck. Maybe it was the day’s traumas catching up with Danny, but Steve would take it.


End file.
